52 New Friends

Mary grew up as the only girl in a household with five boys.   She was largely sheltered as a child.   So when she was of the age to go to college, she wanted to break out and spread her wings.   That’s why she left her home in New York to attend Arizona State University.   It was far enough away that she felt like she was on her own but she did have a brother who was also attending ASU, just in case she ever needed anything.   She never did. Once when she was home on summer break, she was with a friend at local hangout when the most handsome man she’d ever seen came up to talk to her.   He was 6’4” and gorgeous.   He also lived in the area.   They went on a date the next night and continued the relationship even when she went back to ASU.   She was wild about him!   They talked about a future together, getting married.   And then, he missed a phone call he normally would have made.   At first, Mary made excuses for him....

A long time friend, who is the general manager of an assisted living facility, suggested that since I was making new friends, I should come and visit some of the residents at her facility…and I thought, “What a great idea!”   When I was a kid, my church group regularly visited a nursing home just up the street.   Where had that habit gone?   I couldn’t remember.   But it’s been years since I’ve heard of anyone visiting the elderly. It took a while to coordinate on my part but I finally found a time that would work.   My friend, Amey, greeted me, took me on a tour of the facility and told me she knew just who I should meet.   Eventually, she stood in the doorway of one of the rooms, introduced me to Betty and then she was gone.   I walked into the dimly lit room and smiled at the woman sitting in a wheelchair.   She asked me to pardon the mess.   She’d just moved in.   She told me that she’d apparently had a stroke.   “You ...

Sometimes a girl just wants to see a movie.   And sometimes, particularly if you are single, no one is available to go with you.   This was my plight a few weeks ago.   So what did I do?   I went by myself!   Only I arrived WAY too early and found myself sitting on the bench outside the theater.   The hallway was virtually empty.   I tried playing on my phone but the wifi connection was bad.   So I sighed, leaned back into the wall and entertained myself by watching people passing by. I’d been sitting there for about fifteen minutes when I saw an older woman, in her seventies, coming towards me in a bright pink tshirt that said, “Be Happy”.   As she was walking past the recycling bin, she read the sign aloud:   “Recycle your glasses”.   She then moved her hand to the spectacles on her face and said, “But I like mine!”   I giggled and she smiled at me.   “I know what they meant,” she said.   “I know…but...

Having to find a date for my friend, Katie’s wedding launched me right back onto the hamster wheel that we all know as online dating.   To be honest, I don’t agree to go out with many guys.   There are just so many that you must have sorting criteria and you have no idea if you are weeding out someone you might actually get along with…or not.   Either way, it hasn’t been an entirely successful endeavor for me…and yet, I’m still drawn to it like a moth to a flame. A few weeks ago, I got a message from a guy so I checked out his profile…and as I was reading through it, I started to laugh.   He was a handsome guy but he was literally twice my size, solid muscle, covered in tattoos with a long black beard and gauges in his ears.   The thought of this Jason Momoa-look-alike sitting next to me, the conservative-looking, tattooless girl, somehow tickled my funny bone.   So much so that I actually responded back by saying, “Thanks for the laugh!   We wo...

I’d been lured across the breezeway at the Mesa Arts Center with the promise of cupcakes.   A decorated table displaying a full array of decadent cupcakes sat at the bottom of the stairway.   I slowly stalked the full length of the table, eyeing the cupcakes, each one more delicious-looking than the next and finally settled on a chocolate-on-chocolate number that made me salivate.   I picked it up and immediately realized how difficult it was going to be to eat a cupcake gracefully.   Strategically thinking that I needed some type of support, I meandered over to an area of tables, slowly dismembering the paper from around the bottom of the cupcake.   I had no sooner taken a bite when I was suddenly sharing my table with a couple.   Another couple came up right behind them.   We all engaged in small talk but I was very consciously aware of the woman to my left.   She was older than me, but confident and elegant in a way that I’ve always asp...

It was a beautiful evening in downtown Mesa.   Spring was just starting to melt into the heat of the summer.   I’d been invited to the Mesa Arts Center for their Season Preview, a rather exclusive event.   When I entered the theater, I had to take a moment to adjust my perception.   A group of round tables covered in white tablecloths were gathered onto the stage.   A flamingo dancer was performing to the sound of a solitary guitar.   I was in awe as I made my way up onto the stage, as if I were entering into the performance, itself.   I was standing in line for the buffet when someone from the Mesa Arts Center introduced Christine to me.   We both work in the same industry and had come to the event alone.   I’m sure it seemed like an easy pairing…and it was.   While we waited in the lengthy line, Christine told me she had only been in Phoenix for the past two and a half months.   She was working in San Diego when the oppo...

Charley has always been good at figuring things out. He was once traveling to Roswell, New Mexico.   His flight landed after the sun had set.   He rented a car and while driving down the long, narrow road into Roswell, he saw a mysterious glow in the sky that seemed to be following him.   Anyone that knows anything about Roswell, New Mexico might think that Charley was experiencing a U.F.O.   But Charley doesn’t believe in such things.   He kept studying the eerie orb from his vantage point behind the steering wheel, wondering what exactly it could be.   When he finally reached the town, itself, he realized the glow was actually the city’s lights being reflected off the low-hanging mist.   The slight curvature of road he was traveling gave the impression that the lights were following him.   I asked him if he believed that this may have been the cause of a lot of U.F.O. sightings in the Roswell area.   And he said, ‘yes’. While in R...

People are fascinating to me.   Every time I sit down with someone new, I never know what to expect and the conversation always seems to take on a life of its own.   I met Shawn through a friend of mine who happens to be her hairstylist.   The three of us had hung out once before but this is the first time she and I had met one-on-one.   Some people you greet with a handshake because you can feel the emotional distance.   That’s normal.   Occasionally, you run into someone you immediately feel enough closeness with that a hug seems more appropriate.   And every now and then, you will run into someone you feel like you can immediately share your innermost secrets with.   A sort of love at first sight, I guess.   That’s how Shawn was for me.   Maybe with her infectious smile and warm personality, she’s like that for everyone.   It was how she met her husband. Immediately, we fell into a conversation of all the things we, ...

My friend, Katie, was getting married.   At the end of March, she sent me at text that read:   “What is the name of your plus one?   We are doing the place cards and need to know.” I read the text like a deer in headlights.   Six months ago when I RSVP’d, I had a debate on whether or not to mark the plus one box.   I had decided to air on the side of optimism and I marked the box.   Six months later, and still single, I had no idea who I was going to bring.   “Well…” I stammered over text.   “I thought I still had some time.” “Well…”   Katie texted back.   “We are less than a month out now.   Soooo…we probably need to know…” I looked up at the sky and wiped both my palms all the way down my face….as if that was going to make me feel any better.   “I have an idea,” I texted back.   “You are the bride so tell me if this is going to ruin your wedding…but what if we put on the place card ‘Mystery Date’?   An...

Ben grew up in a Mormon family.   He and his twin sister were the middle children out of six.   Ben did all the things that good Mormon boys do.   When he was of age, he went on his mission.   He came back and got married.   He and his wife had three children who were perfectly planned exactly two years apart from one another.   Ben followed the scriptures.   He studied at night to get his bachelor’s degree online…and then his masters.   He was well liked among his fellow Mormons.   He was well liked by everyone.   So when Ben was asked to be a leader in his church, he graciously took the position.   It was a great honor. But one day, Ben consciously had a thought that should never have entered his religiously conditioned brain.   As devote as he and his family were to prayer and the scriptures, he could not find the answer to his prayers anywhere in his everyday life.   Ben didn’t voice this thought…but it was the...

This past Sunday, I attended an inspiring talk at ASU about the Power of Passion.   It’s an interesting topic and as I listened to each speaker, I realized living life is my passion.   You never know what it’s going to bring!   In the past, I have felt sorry for the generations that come behind me.   So many people talk about how the millennials and generation z are failing.   I’ve read articles about how technology has not prepared these generations for hard work…or life, in general.   It’s as if these generations lack passion.   And then, when I least expect it, my job takes me a direction that allows me to meet people in their twenties who have learned to harness their passion and succeed. Unfortunately, both of these people I’ve had the privilege to get to know live in the public eye, so to keep them anonymous I am going to call them ‘Ann’ and ‘Andy’. ‘Ann’ is a twenty-eight-year-old real estate agent.   She was on her way to get her...

There are old souls that inhabit the earth, beings of youth who exhibit such natural wisdom that one starts to wonder if they really even fit in this generation of selfies and YouTube makeup tutorials.   I met Sarah by working with a local non-profit.   She is the type of unyielding dependable that you never have to worry about anything being left undone.   She’s a little bit of ‘Little House on the Prairie’ with her long, blond hair and her natural heart-shaped face.   Her voice is soft.   Her eyes are warm.   She’s the type of person you instantly feel you have known for years. You’d think she was from the Midwest from that description but Sarah actually grew up near Buffalo, New York, surrounded by farms for as far as the eye could see.   She loved to ride horses.   In fact, for a while, she considered becoming a horse trainer but she never had a horse of her own.   She was raised by a single mom and horses are expensive.   ...

Dear Friends, I need to catch you up on all that has happened over the last month since my last posting.   You may have thought I have given up on the idea of making 52 new friends this year.   That could not be farther from the truth.   But here’s what I have learned:   As I get deeper and deeper into this process, I find people are reluctant to sit down with me.   I’ve got a backlog six or seven deep of women who liked the idea enough to agree to sit down with me, but, for one reason or another, have not made the time to do it.   Part of me has been in mourning over it because how sad is our society that people are so overtaxed that they don’t even have time to schedule in one hour to talk about themselves and meet a new friend.   Or maybe the idea of having someone write about them is too daunting?   Or maybe they just don’t want to be my friend and don’t know how to tell me?   Or maybe something else is holding them back?   ...