Friend #32 - Isaac

When Isaac was in college, a friend mentioned that they had another friend who attended the same university.  “You should meet up,” Dez said, in passing.  Of course, this was before the advent of Facebook so the introduction was conducted via myspace. 

In the grand scheme of things, it should have been an insignificant meeting, a moment hardly worth mentioning in a life full of moments.  But Isaac and Amber had a remarkable number of things in common.  They had quite a few mutual friends and their lives in Florida seemed to have just missed each other right up to the point of their first interaction.  It was natural.  It was easy.  And Isaac and Amber fell deeply in love.

But as time went on, feelings Isaac always had began to surface.  You see, when Isaac and Amber met, Isaac identified as a gay woman.  After college, Isaac began the process of transitioning into living as a man.  Amber and Isaac, who had made a career in social work, found themselves living in a small town in Texas.  Mostly, the transitioning process was easy, although the judge, who approved Isaac’s name change, was less than enthusiastic.   “How are you working in the prisons?” he bellowed from his pedestal.  Isaac wanted to say, “Well…I’m not running around naked.”  Instead, he said, “I’m just like everyone else.”  The judge simmered but eventually approved the name change…and Isaac never had to worry about seeing him again.

Getting the sex changed on his driver’s license in a small town was a much simpler process.  When the DMV issued Isaac’s license with his new name, they mistakenly also changed the sex on the document to male.  Wanting to make sure he was doing the right thing, Isaac went back to the DMV.  He brought in a copy of his birth certificate and pointed out the DMV’s mistake which was met with an unwavering gaze.  “You look like a boy,” the government worker said.  “Your driver’s license says you are a boy.  So if you want me to change this, you’re gonna have to prove otherwise.”  Isaac just nodded in amazement and left with a driver’s license identifying him exactly as he wanted to be identified.

And through all this transition, Amber was there holding Isaac’s hand.

When they moved to Arizona, Isaac found a job as a social worker.  He really wanted to help people, particularly wayward teens, but he found the system to be stifling.  The accountability system which was once set up to make the system efficient, Isaac found to be more of a hindrance.  His entire day had to be broken down based on a certain number of units of time…but units couldn’t be combined.  For example, if he was transporting a teen from one location to another and there was an important conversation in the car, that unit could only be used for transportation.  Yet saying the conversation was separate, was also against the rules.  And NOT recording a conversation was also wrong.  Isaac found the system cumbersome and lacking in the fluidity needed to actually help people. 

So when another opportunity came up to work in community education on LGBTQ issues, Isaac quit his job in social work before he even knew he had the other job.  It’s the only time in his life he’s ever done something so reckless.  But he was so miserable at his job as a social worker that he knew he couldn’t stay.  He couldn’t take one more minute of it.  He talked it over with Amber and in the end she just wanted to see him happy…even though she knew if Isaac didn’t immediately get the other job, financially they were going to be in trouble.  Luckily, Isaac did get the job, which now gives him a tremendous amount of freedom.  And he now gets to do what he does best.

Four years ago, Isaac made another big decision.  He decided to ask Amber to marry him.  Their mutual computer almost blew it for him with all the retargeting engagement ring ads that began popping up after Isaac did some searches…but marrying Amber was the best decision he ever made. As I listened to Isaac tell his story, I almost fell in love with Amber, myself.  It’s rare in this world to find a counterpart who loves so unconditionally.  I imagine her as lovely, giving and deeply caring.   And after thirteen years together and lots of ups and downs, Isaac and Amber’s relationship is just as strong as it always has been, proving that at the end of the day, when the right two souls meet, love really does win.