Friend #36 - Megan

Some personalities are just too big to capture on a page…but I’m going to try.

Megan grew up in Finley, Ohio.  Her first title was ‘Ted and Fritzy’s daughter’.  It was her father that instilled in her the desire to help others.  Ted participated in the Big Brother program.  He was well-known, well-liked and did a lot for the small community Megan grew up in, a town that largely remains unchanged from what Megan remembers growing up. 

But Megan’s personality is a lightning rod for the unusual.  When she was eighteen-years-old, she moved to Phoenix for the first time with her boyfriend.  You know…that thing you aren’t supposed to do?  That time her visit to Phoenix was short-lived.  Her boyfriend got hooked on meth.  Life quickly eroded into a big mess so Megan packed her bags and moved back to Ohio where she tried other paths. 

She trained in theatre for while but realized she didn’t like the criticism of her weight and physical appearance…so she moved on.  She studied in the Methodist seminary for a period of time where she met a number of transgender ministers... (Fascinating!) …but decided that wasn’t her calling.  Eventually, she got married to a prominent tattoo artist in the area, which is where she picked up her second title:  Her husband’s wife.  They were married for twelve years.  In the early years, there was a lot of hard partying but eventually, reality hit them in the face.  They got sober together, which you’d think would bring them closer.  Unfortunately, Megan got sober.  Her husband just stopped drinking.  Work became his next drug of choice. 

They drifted for a while and finally decided to shake things up by moving to Phoenix.  It didn’t work out.  The marriage was already doomed.  Megan’s soon-to-be-ex was doing a lot of things he shouldn’t have been doing.  But Megan didn’t want to tuck tail and run back to Ohio.  It had taken her a lot of years to move back to Phoenix so she decided to stay.

She met Jordan on an online dating site during Bike Week three years ago and immediately, there was a connection.  They loved spending time together.  Jordan wasn’t like anyone else Megan had met online.  The following weekend was Easter.  Since all of Megan’s family was back east, she had planned to spend the weekend alone but Jordan insisted she come along to spend the day with his family.  Three months into the relationship, Megan got pregnant. 

She had been pregnant twice before when she was married and had miscarried both times.  The first time, her ex put his arms around her, hugged her from behind and she felt the baby let go of its life.  The second time she miscarried it felt differently, but Megan had been going on the assumption that she wasn’t going to be able to carry a child.  Jordan had a vasectomy many years before.  He never anticipated becoming a father, either.  Megan gave him the option to leave, expected him to question if the child was even his, but to his credit, Jordan stayed right by her side.  And to their delight, their daughter, Avery, was born five weeks early…but otherwise completely healthy.

And that’s when Megan picked up her final title:  Avery’s mom.  She says it is the only title she’s ever been okay with…but here’s the deal:  Although Megan feels as if she has always lived her life behind the titles of others, Megan is pretty amazing in her own right.  She has large, soulful eyes and tattoos covering her arms.  She’s a therapist who helps others on their journey to becoming sober, just as she’s been helped along the way.  Being an alcoholic means she has an almost sixth sense about people.  That guy who leans against the convenience store wall playing on his phone?  Yeah, she knows he’s a dealer.  She sees him. 

She is friend to the marred, the broken, and the obscure.  When she goes to a different city and begins feeling lonely, she knows she can go to an AA meeting and immediately find acceptance.  Megan likes haunted houses and drag queen bingo.  It’s not like she’s a regular mom.  She’s hardworking and edgy with a ton of street smarts.

Life doesn’t always turn out the way we expect but there’s a beauty in that.  When the unexpected is always just around the corner, it keeps us on our game.  It never becomes boring.  And as much as Megan feels like she hides in the shadows of others, she is living a life that shows others how interesting things can be if we take a few risks along the way.