Friend #40 - Emma
Emma was sitting outside waiting for me at the agreed-upon
Starbucks when I arrived and as soon as she opened her mouth, her words dripped
with a delightful English accent that she no longer realizes she has. Emma was born in the United Kingdom but her
ex-husband’s job was very specialized.
They lived in Asia for a while until he was called back to the UK. Then, they were sent to Arizona…and at first,
Emma wasn’t sure she was going to like it here.
One of the first things she noticed was that Americans were
particularly vocal and passionate about their politics. Of course, politics is a topic of
conversation all over the world, but Emma was used to a level of civility in
those that disagreed that she didn’t find here in the United States. She likened it to rooting for a sports
team. It was off-putting. Equally as oft-putting was the American take
on religion. She was used to people
keeping their religion relegated to their private moments but Americans tend to
wear it as a badge of honor. When she
was living in the city of Gilbert, people would often invite her family to
church…but Emma didn’t feel she really knew who these people were. She only knew them by their religion. Her beginnings in the United States really
only worked to make her feel more disconnected.
Finally, Emma found a group that was different. It was led by a charismatic young man by the
name of Alaric Hutchinson, who Emma says has wisdom beyond his years. It is a judgment-free gathering where the
foundation is peace, not love. I had to
think about that one a bit. There’s a
lot of depth there. But it was in this
place where Emma found peace in her life. Some people may believe she’s a bit off her rocker, but she doesn’t care what other people
think. It’s what she needed to do for
herself. So she told Alaric she wanted
to learn…and he taught her to be a master.
Her expertise is in chakradance, which, as I understand it, is a
holistic healing and well-being practice using movement, music and
chakras. She admits her group as gotten
smaller since Alaric moved to Colorado but every Sunday, the faithful meet to
study and discuss how they can live a more peaceful life.
And Emma needed that foundation of peace because two years
ago, her eighteen-year-marriage crumbled.
It was a difficult time for her, particularly because she found, as I
did, that some people treated her as if she had an infectious disease…as if
divorce were contagious. With no family
in the United States other than her two sons, Emma relied on her group for
support and they rallied around her.
Emma believes her desire to live a peace-filled life helped her get
through the toughest parts of her divorce.
But she admitted it wasn’t a perfect transition. She is human, after all.
Her ex-husband was relocated to Australia and Emma
considered moving there, too. Every sign
pointed in that direction: The couple shares
children together and it would make it easier to raise them if they were all on
the same continent. Emma’s mother was
born in Australia so Emma would be able to get citizenship through
descent. And let’s face it, Emma’s life
in America hadn’t really gone in the way a fairy tale goes. She was wondering if it was time to leave
when one day, she wandered into a restaurant for breakfast. It was busy so in order to make things easier, she agreed to share a table with a man she didn't know. They inadvertently ordered the exact same breakfast …and they just
clicked. It was instantaneous. Like they were meant to be together.
Emma never hides anything from her sons so after about six weeks,
she invited the man to come to her house and meet them. He brought over enough food for an army and
when he left, she broached the subject.
She asked her sons how they would feel about her dating someone. Her eldest son knew immediately. He said he could tell by the way they looked
at each other. Her younger son said he
thought the man was nice because he had gone out of his way to bring them so
much food.
And so Emma and her sons stayed in the United States. Her struggles are different now. She has become a school teacher assistant so she
readily admits she isn’t one that has a lot of money…but she has
contentment. Even though the new man in
her life is 33 years older than she is, he seems to be her match. And if you asked her, she would probably say
all of the hardship she has faced while living in this country was part of the
journey she needed to traverse in order to bring her to this place of
well-being…because even the tallest mountain is still part of the journey.
Wow, this is great! You are really meeting some fantastic people.
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