Friend #40 - Emma

Emma was sitting outside waiting for me at the agreed-upon Starbucks when I arrived and as soon as she opened her mouth, her words dripped with a delightful English accent that she no longer realizes she has.  Emma was born in the United Kingdom but her ex-husband’s job was very specialized.  They lived in Asia for a while until he was called back to the UK.  Then, they were sent to Arizona…and at first, Emma wasn’t sure she was going to like it here.

One of the first things she noticed was that Americans were particularly vocal and passionate about their politics.  Of course, politics is a topic of conversation all over the world, but Emma was used to a level of civility in those that disagreed that she didn’t find here in the United States.  She likened it to rooting for a sports team.  It was off-putting.  Equally as oft-putting was the American take on religion.  She was used to people keeping their religion relegated to their private moments but Americans tend to wear it as a badge of honor.  When she was living in the city of Gilbert, people would often invite her family to church…but Emma didn’t feel she really knew who these people were.  She only knew them by their religion.  Her beginnings in the United States really only worked to make her feel more disconnected.

Finally, Emma found a group that was different.  It was led by a charismatic young man by the name of Alaric Hutchinson, who Emma says has wisdom beyond his years.  It is a judgment-free gathering where the foundation is peace, not love.  I had to think about that one a bit.  There’s a lot of depth there.  But it was in this place where Emma found peace in her life.  Some people may believe she’s a bit off her rocker, but she doesn’t care what other people think.  It’s what she needed to do for herself.  So she told Alaric she wanted to learn…and he taught her to be a master.  Her expertise is in chakradance, which, as I understand it, is a holistic healing and well-being practice using movement, music and chakras.  She admits her group as gotten smaller since Alaric moved to Colorado but every Sunday, the faithful meet to study and discuss how they can live a more peaceful life.

And Emma needed that foundation of peace because two years ago, her eighteen-year-marriage crumbled.  It was a difficult time for her, particularly because she found, as I did, that some people treated her as if she had an infectious disease…as if divorce were contagious.  With no family in the United States other than her two sons, Emma relied on her group for support and they rallied around her.  Emma believes her desire to live a peace-filled life helped her get through the toughest parts of her divorce.  But she admitted it wasn’t a perfect transition.  She is human, after all. 

Her ex-husband was relocated to Australia and Emma considered moving there, too.  Every sign pointed in that direction:  The couple shares children together and it would make it easier to raise them if they were all on the same continent.  Emma’s mother was born in Australia so Emma would be able to get citizenship through descent.  And let’s face it, Emma’s life in America hadn’t really gone in the way a fairy tale goes.  She was wondering if it was time to leave when one day, she wandered into a restaurant for breakfast.  It was busy so in order to make things easier, she agreed to share a table with a man she didn't know.  They inadvertently ordered the exact same breakfast …and they just clicked.  It was instantaneous.  Like they were meant to be together.

Emma never hides anything from her sons so after about six weeks, she invited the man to come to her house and meet them.  He brought over enough food for an army and when he left, she broached the subject.  She asked her sons how they would feel about her dating someone.  Her eldest son knew immediately.  He said he could tell by the way they looked at each other.  Her younger son said he thought the man was nice because he had gone out of his way to bring them so much food. 

And so Emma and her sons stayed in the United States.  Her struggles are different now.  She has become a school teacher assistant so she readily admits she isn’t one that has a lot of money…but she has contentment.  Even though the new man in her life is 33 years older than she is, he seems to be her match.  And if you asked her, she would probably say all of the hardship she has faced while living in this country was part of the journey she needed to traverse in order to bring her to this place of well-being…because even the tallest mountain is still part of the journey.