52 New Friends

My hairdresser’s salon is always a big party.   There is a chaotic energy as soon as you walk through the door.   Occasionally someone will bring in a little wine to share.   And when it’s your turn in the chair, the spotlight is on you.   It’s one of my favorite places.   One day back in the spring, my hairdresser began asking me about my project to meet fifty-two new friends.   Patty wandered in about that time and when I was moved to the couch for my color to settle, I plopped down right beside her. At the time, Patty was working for one of the local television stations.   She has perfect blond hair and large, expressive eyes.   I honestly can’t remember what we talked about during that first meeting.   It may have been her cats…but whatever it was, I instantly loved her.   I was so excited when she agreed to be one of my new friends.   We immediately connected on social media, but I could never get Patty to commit to a...

One of my long-time friends moved to a new neighborhood in Ahwatukee.   Laurie and my friend, Angie, were introduced because they used the same realtor and live a few doors down from each other.   Since the homes are new, the women have leaned on each other as they are exploring all the nooks and crannies of their new houses.   Angie invited me to see a movie with her and at the last minute, asked Laurie if she would like to tag along.   Angie knows I’m on a mission to meet new friends this year so she figured I wouldn’t mind.   And I didn’t. Originally from Chicago, Laurie grew up the youngest of three children.   She graduated with a degree in math but trained in IT right out of college.   Laurie had planned on moving in with a friend of hers and staying in Chicago, but her mother begged her to go to open interviews for a life insurance company based out of California that was doing interviews in the Chicago area.   To appease her mother,...

When Jaye was a tween, her father had an opportunity to expand his business into the United States so he moved the family away from their beloved Canada to live in Arizona.   There are a lot of things Jaye missed about her home country but mostly, she missed her friends.   Twenty years ago, there was no social media to keep up with people we once knew but Jaye found a way to communicate with those she knew in Canada through a series of chat rooms she found on the computer.   It was all very innocent.   Still, while she was exploring these chat rooms, she met a boy from Iowa online and they began chatting regularly.   The two of them became very close over a period of time but after a while, they drifted apart as the young tend to do.   Then, when Jaye was sixteen, she got a message from this long, lost boy.   He wanted to come out to Arizona to meet her.   He had just turned eighteen, making him two years older than her.   Jaye told...

Some personalities are just too big to capture on a page…but I’m going to try. Megan grew up in Finley, Ohio.   Her first title was ‘Ted and Fritzy’s daughter’.   It was her father that instilled in her the desire to help others.   Ted participated in the Big Brother program.   He was well-known, well-liked and did a lot for the small community Megan grew up in, a town that largely remains unchanged from what Megan remembers growing up.   But Megan’s personality is a lightning rod for the unusual.   When she was eighteen-years-old, she moved to Phoenix for the first time with her boyfriend.   You know…that thing you aren’t supposed to do?   That time her visit to Phoenix was short-lived.   Her boyfriend got hooked on meth.   Life quickly eroded into a big mess so Megan packed her bags and moved back to Ohio where she tried other paths.   She trained in theatre for while but realized she didn’t like the criticism of her ...

I was walking into my favorite martini bar to meet a new friend when I got a text saying the woman wasn’t going to be able to make it because of a family emergency.   I was bummed.   Normally I might have turned around and left.   But this was my favorite martini place… I figured one martini wasn’t going to hurt anyone so I took a seat at the bar and buried my face in my phone.   After a while, I heard a soft voice behind me say, “Is anyone sitting here?” I looked up to see an older black man pointing at the seat to my left.   A quick assessment of the bar made me realize the only two empty seats were on either side of me.   “No, the seat is yours,” I declared.   “In fact, if you are meeting someone, I’d be happy to move down one.” Gordon shook his head and told me he was by himself so I took the cue and put my phone away.   Would I have done that if I wasn’t on a mission to make friends this year?   I’m not sure. Gordon to...

I met Rachel through a sorority sister.   We agreed to have our first meeting at a coffee shop late one afternoon.   Five minutes before I arrived, Rachel called to say that the coffee shop was getting ready to close.   Rachel, who lives downtown, had walked there so I pulled up alongside the curb and Rachel jumped in my car, ready to look for another location. “Didn’t your mama ever tell you not to get in the car with strangers?” I teased. “You aren’t a stranger.   We’re sisters.” And that’s just how trusting Rachel is.   She is a sensitive soul, a 6’1” blond Amazon.   She doesn’t drive because when she was fifteen she watched a friend get hit by car.   She’s been afraid to operate a vehicle ever since.   If she needs to go anywhere of any distance, she calls a Lyft or an Uber so she’s used to jumping into strange people’s cars.   I wasn’t even the first strange car she’d jumped into that day! Part of the reason Rachel may be...

Four months ago, Nancy got laid off from her job.   She had been dealing with an abnormal mammogram for months and finally had surgery to remove her lymph nodes to solve the problem.   Her boss called her two days after her surgery to let her know that she had been let go.   Nancy had spent years at that company working as a recruiter in the financial industry, ensuring new recruits that it was a great company to work for, yet all the while knowing that those who were rude, malicious and back-stabbing where the ones who were most likely to get promoted.   It was a toxic environment.   Nancy admitted she probably should have left long ago.   Over the past few years, changes in the financial industry had caused lay-offs at her company.   Only they weren’t massive layoffs that caused hysteria.   It was sneaky.   Once, Nancy talked to Fred on Monday and by Thursday she was getting bounce back emails.   The layoffs were seemingly...

When Isaac was in college, a friend mentioned that they had another friend who attended the same university.   “You should meet up,” Dez said, in passing.   Of course, this was before the advent of Facebook so the introduction was conducted via myspace.   In the grand scheme of things, it should have been an insignificant meeting, a moment hardly worth mentioning in a life full of moments.   But Isaac and Amber had a remarkable number of things in common.   They had quite a few mutual friends and their lives in Florida seemed to have just missed each other right up to the point of their first interaction.   It was natural.   It was easy.   And Isaac and Amber fell deeply in love. But as time went on, feelings Isaac always had began to surface.   You see, when Isaac and Amber met, Isaac identified as a gay woman.   After college, Isaac began the process of transitioning into living as a man.   Amber and Isaac, who had made a ...

Brandon is onto something big.   He can feel it in his bones…as if his dreams are finally coming to fruition. He is an artist, a multimedia body artist.   What is that?   We met through friends so before our meeting, Brandon sent me an extraordinary image of a person dressed as a demigod, who seemed like they would fit in the Marvel universe.   But the image was remarkably life-like, as if they had walked out of a movie.   My first reaction was that it was cool, but I thought it to be rather large to be tattooed on someone.   That shows you how much I know!   The image Brandon sent me was of an actual person Brandon had visually transformed through the use of body paint and other elements you’d find at a craft shop.   He then poses his models and photographs them to create works of art that are simply amazing. He’s always been a creator.   In fact, at this point in his life, he is more comfortable creating than not creating.   He...

One of the joys of Mark’s life is the high rise condo he owns overlooking Tempe Town Lake.   It’s a small, one bedroom dwelling with clean lines, unbefitting to any clutter.   The building residents are friendly and familiar, making the tower a community.   The views are incredible, and if Mark leaves for an international traveling adventure, the space is virtually unchanged from the moment he closes the door to the moment he returns.   Mark loves the simplicity it gives his life.   It is his sanctuary. And for Mark, he finds genius in simplicity.   He likes to walk places when he has the opportunity.   He loves riding his bike and dining in quaint, local restaurants.   He loves music and cars.   A sticker to put on his wheels might be the thing that brings him an enormous amount of joy that day.   And he does feel a lot of joy in his life.   His motto is “Enjoy Life Daily” and often, he does.   Of course, no one can be ...

Ashton is a twin.   The pair couldn’t be more identical.   In fact, they are so identical one twin usually doesn’t survive.   The babies were taken from their mother’s womb at thirty-two weeks and the only differences between the two are the hormonal ones after birth…yet Ashton’s sister always knew there was something different about Ashton.   Ashton knew it too. The pair had a cookie-cutter childhood in Ahwatukee, Arizona, where the homes were new and the neighborhoods were filled with white, middle-class families.   The twins were honor students.   They went to church every Sunday.   Ashton had a particular affinity for art.   The twins chose to go to a Christian college in Spokane, Washington and it was during those years where this story gets really interesting.   Ashton’s sister identifies as a lesbian woman.   Ashton identifies as non-binary, which means that on a gender line where male is on one side and female is on ...

In celebration of making twenty-six new friends in six months, I decided to release a video on social media that a local news station had produced back in January featuring my ‘52 new friends’ project.   As I expected, I received messages from people who wanted to stick their hands up in support of the project.   Fred was one of the first to jump on board. I met him in a quaint little coffee shop in downtown Gilbert.   The shop, itself, was small but just outside was a yard full of mismatched seating and greenery.   It reminded me a bit of the time I had spent in Portland, Oregon.   And Fred seemed to blend right in with his walking shorts and his t-shirt featuring a local band.   We ordered our coffee and found a seat with some shade, in front of the misters.   It was still early in the day but certainly warm, as Arizona mornings tend to be.   Fred grew up in Vancouver, Washington, which is just on the other side of Portland making the amb...

Confession:   I’ve always wanted to be an actress.   I think it started in the high school drama club, the endorphins you get performing in front of a crowd that is fixated on your every movement and emotion.   I wasn’t particularly good at it.   I have a difficult time controlling my eyes and facial movements that react honestly, in the moment and often can’t be duplicated.   But I am fascinated by those who have that gift. So when a friend suggested I sit down with a real life actress, I leapt at the opportunity.   There were so many questions I had about people who live their lives portraying others.   I’d always had a notion that great actors must have, at some point in their lives, developed a skill for putting on a façade in their real life in order to escape that reality.   Debbie told me that wasn’t really the case.   Great acting is about putting on a coat of someone else’s back story to wear during the duration of the perform...

Do you affect the world?   Or does the world affect you? Last Saturday, Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Arizona hosted a LGBTQ Awareness seminar.   Since I’m a Big Sister, I was invited.   I’m not entirely sure what I was expecting but when I arrived, the majority of the attendees were men.   At the very beginning of the seminar, a man behind me asked, “Isn’t this all just a choice?”   I could immediately feel tensions rise around the room like an earthquake.   The facilitators and the audience had a lot to say, but there was one man at the far end of the table where I was sitting who calmly waited until everyone else said their peace.   When finally he was called on to speak, he turned to the man behind me and said, “I am biracial.   So in school when they passed out forms for you to check a box beside your ethnicity, I could neither check the box that said ‘white’ nor the box that said ‘black’ without denying some part of myself. ...